| wooo! |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|10:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Club Heads - Missy Elliot | ] |
i'm a THETA!
*no one does it like a GREEK!!!* |
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| betrayal.... |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|12:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dangerous as fuck | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tub thumping -chumbawamba | ] |
whoever did this is fucking going down. way down. as far as im concerned this is a sick, cruel betrayal and whoever did it deserves to pay.
don't fuck with me. |
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| wow its been a FUCKING while... |
[Mar. 29th, 2006|03:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bad Day | ] |
ok...so for those of you who might have been wondering where the fuck hillary lynn has been for the past month and a half, i will tell you. 2 major changes have influenced my life and caused me to retreat into the sanctuary that is syracuse university.
1) Patrick and I brokeup. basically reality set in and we had to face the facts that this relationship would never work out because we are so far away from eachother. needless to say, i did not end up going to see him over break. it sucked. i cried. and yah, my heart is still pretty bruised. you find someone and are so happy when your with eachother, and then life has to take them away and fuck you over. it sucks but eh, what are you gonna do right?
2) I'm Pledging. yeah. well what can i say to describe pledging to all those non-greeks out there? probably nothing. there is no way to describe the utter exhaustion, the anxiety, and of course, the excited anticipation for the day you can wear those sacred letters and are basically given the social keys to the campus. i am on my last week. i have made it through 5 weeks of busy, strenuous, and even scary nights and exhausted and practically apathetic days. pledging is one of those periods in your life when you REALLY could use a drink, or a smoke...but unlike any other time in your life...you CAN'T have it. that just adds to the stress: not being able to destress by going out and having fun. my gpa is crying...i can hear it. so much for getting a 3.76 again this semester. oh well, right now, it really doesnt matter that much...i just want to be a sister and i will do anything to get there. wish me luck kids, i only have 4 or 5 more days of hell left. |
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| Valentine's Day went well... |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|10:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Some weird rockapella from nicoles ipod... | ] |
Well Valentine's day went well. Patrick and I were able to catch eachother and have a nice fun chat right as it was becoming v-day, and he opened his first half of his present (compliments of fredricks of hollywood). He put out a Valentine's day shoutout to me on facebook which was ridiculously cute :0) and said that I have a card and package on the way. I have decided to go down for spring break and cannot wait to buy my tickets and get all the travel info squared away. 23 daysss ahhhhhh!!!
Since Patrick couldn't physically be here yesterday and neither could my friend's gf, he and I teamed up and were eachothers valentines. He bought me chocolates and I got him the same lol. Later on, I had a little psych study session with Garland, faked studying for my child development test, and passed out.
All in all, it was a good day!!! |
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| Wow...craziness... |
[Feb. 13th, 2006|02:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 99 Problems | ] |
So yesterday was bid day, and if I'm brave enough, bold enough, and strong enough I'll be a true sorority girl by the end of march. I've only spent one night with my new sissies and I am already in FUCKING LOVE with them and the house. Noy I know why the Greeks go through frightening and difficult hazing processes: its this sick, blind love of the house that makes you brave enough to undergo sketchy and sometimes scary events. Pledge starts tonight and ushers in 6 weeks of absolute hell on earth. Bring it on baby...I'll prove myself well enough.
Tomorrow is Valentine's day and I miss my boyfriend terribly. I still don't know whats up with spring break. Please God let tomorrow go well. |
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| i cannot believe that the february of my freshman year is already upon me... |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|01:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nada...bout to hit the sheets | ] |
i cannot believe it is almost february. i just can't.
why february is cool:
february is cool because it is the shortest month in the calendar. it always goes by quickly (those extra couple of days really make a difference!).
february is the month of RUSH/Pledge for the sororities and fraternities and i am more than pumped to be a greek! bring on the 6 weeks of hazing...just BRING IT ON BITCHESSS!!!
february has valentine's day...and yours truly has an actual valentine this year!!! :)
february is practically the last month of winter. sure we get snow in the first half of march, but the second half really starts to bring in spring and warmer weather!
and last, but CERTAINLY not least, february is the last full month before going on spring break and seeing my blue eyed boy!!! only 39 days left!!!! :) |
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| :0) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2006|05:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You've got a friend in me - Toy Storyyy! | ] |
last night went really really well. i think i'm starting to fix this!!!
<3
:0) |
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| I LOVEEEE SCHOOOOL!!! |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|06:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | We like to Party! - Vengaboys | ] |
sure my new classes involve fuckloads of work. sure i'm swamped in readings already. and yeah, i even have to take stats this semester. but you know what!?! i dont give a flying fuck!!! last night, my first thirsty thursday back at SU was out of sighttt...3 frats...lots of beer...good times. tonight me and my two best girls are heading out to olive garden for dinner, and then coming back here to pregame and put on our makeup before heading out to another frat party. and tomorrow's lineup? yup, you guessed it: FRATS!!!
<3 SHOW GRATITUDE: HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR FRAT BOY TODAY??? |
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| excited to go back to 'cuse!!! |
[Jan. 13th, 2006|11:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous | ] |
well today is my last day in RI until the summer! tonight the fam is gonna drop me off at Anne's house on their way to the condo...tomorrow Anne, Jeff, and I are gonna brave the shitty new england/new york weather for 6 hours to return to our beloved home.
todays to-do list:
laundry
packing
send out patrick's care package
oooo funness! |
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| I need to take a couple bottles of chill pills... |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|01:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lovesick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
Last night I had a WICKED BAD emotional breakdown when I got on the phone with him. I just get so frustrated with the entire situation and then cry because I know there is nothing I can do to fix it. Bless that boy's heart...he just sat and listened. We learned some new stuff about eachother last night. Important stuff. The kinda stuff that can either make or break a relationship.
I guess all we can do is continue our nightly chats, write letters, and let eachother know that we still care about one another. As much as I hate it, I know I'm gonna have to put us on hold for a while...and that sucks...alot. So much can go wrong and change while things are on hold...but thats the risk that we are being forced to take. Any other way would be wrong. He and I KNEW this was gonna happen...we saw it coming miles and miles away...but we didn't care. Now its time to pay for all those cuddles and blissful sleepless nights. Normally, with enough thought and strategizing, I can find my way around any tough obstacle or situation. But not this one. I just gotta let go and see what happens. |
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| *missing him* |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|01:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loving | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wild Horses - The Sundays | ] |
so i basically just had jenn talk me out of buying a ferry ticket to long island so i could see him one last time. i seriously am wayyy to impulsive. hillary's bright idea of the day: swipe the rents' new car, drive to new london, get on the ferry, and drive an hour through long island just to spend a few more hours with him. brilliant, i know. too bad no one else realizes it.
i hate just sitting here THINKING about him. when i hear his voice on the phone, it makes me just want him more. i don't want to dream or think goddamnit! i want to cuddle, kiss, whisper, and laugh together. i just got off the phone with him 20 minutes ago, and already i wanna talk to him again. i feel so useless being so far away from him.
enough bitching. to cure this nagging problem, i have decided to start putting a care package together for him. that way, i won't feel so frustrated. i'll be acting on my feelings as best as i can...plus i'm sure receiving some loving encouragement is gonna help him through this second college transition. jenn and i are heading to the mall today so i can start picking up stuff for my lil project. i am tres excited... |
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| *sigh* where to begin? |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|01:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nada cuz its LATEEE | ] |
i had an absolutely AMAZING time this past week...so much shiznit went down, i think it may have to be summarized and listed...so here it goes:
tuesday: Patrick arrived and we spent hours sitting on the couch, cuddling and "watching" a movie before going to bed.
wednesday: the 'rents and lil bro left for the condo leaving Patrick and I the house for the entire afternoon ;0). in the evening we drove to new london and got dinner before taking the 8pm ferry over to long island. once we arrived at his house, we changed and went to a friend's sweet sixteen party at a local bar/night club. t'was lots of funness.
thursday: got a flat tire returning from the mall and missed seeing the producers. fixing the flat took 2 hours, 2 jacks, 1 pretty bald tire, 3 college boys, and one frustrated dad who had to drive out to help us when the boys couldn't do it. at night, we went to shamrock's nightclub with the gang and Patrick and I danced up a lil storm before leaving around 2ish.
friday: spent the day tooling around in Patrick's best friend's car. i got to see all the amazingly gorgeous (and expensive!) mansions built in one of the richer sections of the island. i swear to god, some people are just TOO rich.
saturday: we got up and barely caught the 11:45am train to NYC. spent the entire train ride cuddling, kissing, and just being that generally annoying and happy couple that everyone else despises. after we arrived at Penn, we walked around looking for a place to buy fakes, but no such luck. instead, Patrick decided to show me 42nd St. and go grab an appetizer at TJI Friday's. on our way to meet Dan and Jamie (Pat's friends) at the Royalton hotel, he bought me a BEAUTIFUL! Coach bag (i swear this boy is too good to me). The Royalton was stunning...with deep royal blue walls and ceilings,royal blue and gold carpets, and big wooden doors. Us kids got to stay in an amazing room with a huge queen (set right into a wooded and indented nook in the wall), a cushy sofa, TV and stereo system, candles on the walls, and probably the coolest bathroom I've ever had the priviledge to use. The shower was HUGE (spanned from one wall of this big room to the other) with one huge piece of glass as its fourth wall. It even had a mirror in it! Anyways, after meeting at the Royalton, the entire group of us headed to the Times Square VIP section for the celebrations. The entire atmosphere was amazing. There is no way to describe it. Once the ball dropped and 2006 was born, Patrick and I christened the new year with maybe a few too many kisses under the lights ;0) After the festivities in the square ended, Dan's parent's took us out to a VERY posh bar ("Blue Bar") for drinks. Shortly after that, Patrick and I headed back to the room for some much needed alone time while the others continued on with their revelries. When I realized that this would be our last night spent cuddling together until I go visit him in March, I must admit I got a tad emotional and shed a few tears.
Sunday: Us kids drove home and Patrick and I spent all day entertaining his adorable family. I ended up crying again when he came to kiss me goodnight hahaha...
Today: Got up early to make it to the ferry for 8:45. Cried again...and prayed the ferry would be all booked so I could spend just one more hour with this amazing boy. When we held hands and kissed goodbye at the dock, my heart almost broke. And then a few moments later, seeing him alone on the dock looking up at me...so close but already so far away...I think my heart did break. I had to go inside and sit down because I couldn't bear watching him move farther and farther away from me. But when I read his letter, a secret letter he silently hid inside my purse as I got ready to leave, I realized how special everything was and is between us and at how much really I care about this boy. Even though we're gonna be separated, I KNOW we'll always continue to be great friends...and hell, if it turns out that it was meant to be, we'll know it'll work because we've been through this. |
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| 2 hours to go! |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|09:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nadaaa | ] |
patrick's due to arrive in a couple hours...thus sparking a series of fun events that will lead up to, what is sure to be, a most memorable new year's eve celebration in Times Square. i'm so excited to see him! tonight we're just gonna chill with the fam and do the whole cuddling, hot cocoa, and a movie deal.
<3
;0) |
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| why do i even bother coming home??? |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|04:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the lil bro tuning his guitar... | ] |
it looks like this break is gonna be alot like thanksgiving break: my best friends not returning my calls and/or making no effort to hang out together, a stressful home situation, and basically a perpetual countdown until the day where i return to school. when i hear anne and patrick's voices over the phone every day, it just makes me so homesick for 'cuse and our crazy lil family of kids. thank god i'm seeing patrick next week... |
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| welcome home and merry fucking christmas... |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|04:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nada | ] |
i love my family...i do...but already i'm sick of being here. i've been here less than 24 hours and already i can't stand it. the atmosphere here, although it appears so warm and inviting, is swirling with completely negative and angry energy. i love being with my little brother, he's still mad chill, but the 'rents are driving me up a fucking wall with their behavior. and to top it all off, they are giving me a difficult time about going to new york to see patrick for new year's eve. i can already tell that new year's is gonna be a disaster and they won't let me escape and be happy. elyse doesn't even come home till christmas eve, so my lil bro and i are on our own in this house for another week. i guess the only good thing is that he at least has someone to keep him company now. this fucking sucks. day # 1 of christmas break and already i'm aching to go back to school.
;0( |
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| i have a 7 page paper to write and of course i'm crying... |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I'm With You - Avril | ] |
well i just said bye to patrick 20 minutes ago. it was hard. harder than it should have been. he looked really sad and i started crying. when he left, i watched him from my window and wouldn't you know it, the boy turned around for a last look at my window...which made me cry even more. god why is my life like a dramatic film and/or an emotional hell on earth???
luckily it's not too too bad. the circumstances suck, but i know we'll always be buddies. i'm hopefully gonna see him for new years eve and then am planning on going to visit him in new orleans for my spring break. that's not too bad...right??? |
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| *sigh* where to begin??? |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|01:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wild Horses - The Sundays | ] |
saturday evening started out pretty normally. anne and i had a drink or two at her dorm and then we headed off to a christmas party on euclid. at the party, i ended up getting completely drunk (as usual) and was having quite a bit of fun. sadly the party was cut short when these douchebags came in and stole our host's laptop, Lauren's ipod, and some guy's 900 dollar leather coat. shortly after that, anne left with one of her boys, and i was left in this stranger's house, helping him and his boys pick up all the beer in case we had to call the cops to report the theft. during this time i met and got to know our host's best bud, patrick, and we ended up sitting on the couch chatting while all the drunk people around us passed out and slept. later on, since i didn't want to walk alone for 2 miles in the snow to get home, patrick invited me back to sleep at his place on south campus.
long story short, i ended up spending almost every day with this boy, drinking hot cocoa, cuddling, kissing, and just having fun. he's such a sweetheart and treats me like a princess. honestly, i have never been treated better by any other boy in my entire life. too bad he's a Tulane student...so he'll going back to Louisiana after winter break...and that mean's tonight is gonna be our last night together.
why is it that when i finally find a guy who might be worth keeping, the world has to fuck it up with ridiculous circumstances!?!
*sigh* |
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| maggies, fights in the snow, and dps... |
[Dec. 10th, 2005|03:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lethargic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Baby Boy - Beyonce | ] |
well i lost my maggies virginity last night when anne's friend got us into the bar at midnight. the entire place was filled with people drinking, dancing, and just having a grand ol' drunken time. anne, casey and i danced up a storm and pounded a few too many beers. i also got to see the phi psi boys (luckily a certain someone was noticably absent!) which i was really excited about. after all, i haven't seen many of them in a month or two. point is, maggies rocked and i can't fucking wait till i come back in january with my IDs! hahaha there goes my gpa...
after maggies closed at 2, anne and i literally stummbled upon a fight that was going on down on walnut. we got involved since anne knew one of the boys and eventually dps had to show up. apparently, one kid was really drunk and hit a random girl because she laughed at his drunk friend. the other boys in turn went to beat up the kid who hit the girl. it was quite the messy situation but it made the night even more interesting.
Right now, I really should be doing work. I have my spanish final on monday and then my sociology paper due on tuesday and i haven't started to work on either task. tonight i'm supposed to attend 3 different parties, but i don't know if i can afford to. plus, i think i drank half my body weight in alcohol last night so i'm not sure if i wanna go too too crazy tonight. oh well, we'll see... |
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| fuck guys...i'm getting drunk... |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|10:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Excited to get drunkkk! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pump It Up! - Danzel | ] |
i'm sick and tired of feeling like shit all the time. i'm sick and tired of guys that hurt me. for the next month and a half, i'm saying adios to all thoughts of romance and love and am just gonna go out, get crunked, and have fun. by the time i get back from vaca, RUSH will be happening and i won't have time to worry about my unlovableness.
tonights agenda:
get crunked, go wild, have fun.
jack daniels and the captain: the 2 men that will always be there for you... |
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| what i really want for christmas... |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|10:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nicoles musical alarm | ] |
Dear Santa,
What I really want for Christmas this year is a boy that I love and who will love me back. I want to be good enough for someone for once in my life. I really want someone to cuddle, to tell me I'm pretty, and to love me. For some reason, I have very bad luck with boys and I don't know if there's anything else I can change about myself to make it any better. Santa how come some girls get to be loved and admired and other girls don't? What is the difference between the two? That's another thing I'd like for Christmas: understanding why I was not good enough for all the boys I've ever liked. If these requests are too difficult to deliver, I understand. In return could you just at least give me the gift of apathy so I don't cry anymore?
Hopefully I'm on your Nice list this year...I'd really like my wish to come true.
<3
Hillary |
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